Chocatross on the Black Man

I noticed today in my local Save More Market (run by a set of Arab brothers who buy fantastic organic, healthy junk food- and then proceed to price all items so buyers do anything but save) the yin, if you will, of Star Wars Revenge of the Sith’s branded M & M’s- the milk chocolate ones.

I’d gotten a package of the dark chocolate ones for Christmas last year, but was more intrigued by Samuel L. Jackson’s image on the packaging of the milk chocolate ones.

So let's talk choc for a sec, shall we? “Join the Jedi Choose Milk Chocolate,” it reads with a bald blue M&M wielding a light saber next to the image of Jackson doing the same. The M&M says, “We’re bald and we’re bad.”

Now how is an honorable brother like Jackson supposed to live this down? I would hope at the very least by laughing all the way to the bank. So white Hayden Christensen and his transformation to the dark side (Darth Vader) gets those who “Choose the Dark Chocolate Side” and Jackson and the Jedi get the milk chocolate eaters?

It’s war I tell you. War on the black man. It’s Lucas mixing it up, selling out, adding yet another merchandising miasma to our frail, easily distracted, pittance of an excuse for a culture that he already had a vice grip on back in 1977 when Star Wars came out. Only this time, he’s thrown the albatross of milk chocolate (chocatross) squarely around the necks of our proud black brothers! As innocent consumers, we fall for this new twist and by choosing our chocolate, we enter the “Star Wards chocolate empire.”

What would Chomsky think!?