Sleighing Christmas with a Tardis

Tardis Playing Santa by Kleberrise.

"Santa picks our locks to get in and deliver the presents," I declared one night on our drive home. That didn't go over so well. "Well, since we don't have a chimney, he must use his magic somehow to open the locks and get through the doors."
"That's totally not possible," my daughter answered.

I let the conversation die. 

As kids get older, you have to iterate even more creatively on the details. Earlier this year she asked if "we" were Santa. I wasn't asked or I might have kept the lie going. But she asked Dad. Any other topic and I'm the brutally honest one, but Christmas, well. He told her the truth. It got me thinking. What would it take to record the sound of the Tardis, create a sound file loop and then...just as all the gifts were set---play that sucker really loud for about 30 seconds? An early Christmas morning shocker.


We acquired our plastic TARDIS (name is a registered trademark of the BBC) cookie jar a few years ago. Yeah the top opens. It was marketed as a cookie jar. I typically try to avoid buying plastic decor shit, but it was so cute and it went with my bigger splurge from a few years prior- 3 daleks. They have tiny knitted skirts my husband had made for them one year. Great, adorable things to get lost in the holiday shuffle.

Tardis Prayer

In the year we got it, it quickly became a ritual to make the tardis "sing" at the start of every meal. It has a flashing blue light on top that you press. We'd push it and listen to the typical tardis sounds as the blue light flashed. But somehow with time and battery life, we we stopped using it. Almost religious, right? The call of science perhaps.

Over dinner, I revived the discussion. "Maybe Santa comes in the TARDIS to deliver presents. He uses time travel to get into our living room, unload, [I only did that Oxford comma thing for you; I wish it'd just die] and then go onto the next house." She laughed. That would solve the space issue, too. One sleigh, just 8 reindeer [ha, screw that comma crap] and millions of children.

Identities of Santa

A little later into this year, out of the blue she asked, "So how did you disguise your writing on the gift tags for the ones that said they were from Santa, Mom?" My brain halted for a minute and then my brutal honesty (temper?) did come out. "Kid," I said. "When you are older and need to do this for your own kids, you can get your own techniques. Don't be thinking I'm going to give my secrets up to you!" Hey, this is the Bay Area. I both love and loathe some of what passes for values here. But my tactics of hiding specific types of wrapping papers, eating the cookies and the like are truly--my own. My block letters with the creative "Ts" belong to no one but me--and the pixels you're ingesting. I can only imagine how typical my tactics are. I do know she'll never read this.

Sleigh What Weighs on Your Heart

As you contemplate the holiday this year, don't forget all the people around you who have suffered at the hands of Mother Nature, injustice or cruelty this year. It doesn't have to be helping victims of X disaster or Y fire to justify compassion for my fellow humans, planet or creatures. There are things in those categories that you can effect right now. Their circumstances may be more complex, but they are no less worthy. Look and act local to put light into the world. Show compassion to anyone around you--that's helping. That counts. These pixels count. I wish I could fill a Tardis with all the things we need for peace, justice, coexistence, generosity, compassion, and kindness. I can't. But I can put it out there. Find what moves you and help whomever you can, however you can. And make it something you do all year long.


Don't forget (if your child or any kids you connect with still believe...) to check the Norad Santa tracker.

WoooOOO Boom. WoooOOO Boom. WoooOOO Boom. WoooOOO Boom. WoooOOO Boom. WoooOOO Boom. WoooOOO Boom. WoooOOO Boom.