Fantastic Hair BTW; Now RENEW!
Their latest solicitation arrived to me with the following spacing, punctuation, salutation and directive. Directly under their logo they spoke to me thus:
Rachel, another year has gone by. We like the way you're wearing your hair now. Big improvement. We track you because we care..and because your Better World Club membership # XXXXXXXXXX is expiring on 8/3/2006.
And then it goes on perfectly normal- quietly reading the paper as it waits for the next metaphorical BUS; humming the kind of tune to itself you'd commonly hear from any other kind of direct mail. Except that three inches beneath that comes the text telling me I'm an oilaholic--in increasing font size.
$89.95 per year for this left-handed compliment. We slap our customers around because we know they're cool enough, we can get away with being asses and assholes (making those marketing customers of our jealous how many risks we take in our activities) style.
And so, products and services aside- do I want to pay $90 a year to watch and see what they do (to me) next? I admit, I'm intrigued. Just $1.73 a week, the cost of a cup of coffee (and that's just PLAIN coffee --NOT Peets-- in downtown San Francisco!) to be entertained by their brash, risqué style of being cool, being all Googly in that while they take our money hand over fist- they've still managed to be our friend (ahem, vendor).
How many Children's Christian Fund children won't be getting their meals if I renew? How many emergency "guardian" programs (of sustained, regular monthly giving) with Defenders of Wildlife, Greenbelt Alliance, Humane Society, KQED or other starving, hard-driving fundraising non-profits could I- should I instead choose to put these funds into?
Or maybe I'll just go get myself a new Camel muff for the wedding. Yeah, well, that works for many locations- why do you ask?